Castaway Diary, Day 9.

Alright, fun times that I remember because I didn’t down half a bottle of rum this time around.
 
 
Thanks Jokes for bringing over some birthday log for us to enjoy. Thanks Fresh Wok for providing us with food in exchange for pieces of paper. Thanks for recycling. Thanks Rolland for making us all feel better about our rolling. Thanks Mike for flirting with character death with such aplomb. Thanks JIM, for showing us what witches can do, finally. Thanks Sean for the plastic palm trees that we actually put to use last night.  Thanks everyone for the dick jokes. I had a good time. What’s more, because I stuck to Premo all night – I FUCKING REMEMBER MOST OF IT.
 
I'll take that as a sign.  Gettit? Sign?

I’ll take that as a sign.
Gettit?
Sign?

 
On deck last night:
 
  • Floki, Ranger, feeling Gorum’s judging eye all over the place.
  • Orny, Man Witch Warlock, throwing hexes all over the place.
  • Uun, Barbarian, throwing axe blows and his unconscious body all over the place.
  • Nobody, Tiefling Gunslinger, shooting wildly all over the place, no matter what.
 
The party had finally found something resembling a higher order goal – they’d wrestled their survival needs fairly successfully, but now they’d found something which they’d been asked to go find by an NPC. The Brine Demon, thought Jask Derindi, was a courier ship for the group of corrupt Sargavan officials that had stitched him up and had him thrown in jail. The ship may, he continued to think, contain some kind of documentation that would prove his innocence and uncover the embezzling bureaucrats.  Everybody pretty much remembered this, which impressed me no end.
 
And it was noted, the Brine Demon was in much better condition than most wrecks they had seen. The sails had rotted and most of the spars and rigging had snapped and fallen into the sea. However the hull was a) intact, b) upright and c) not obviously swarming with skeletons. So that’s a plus. From the turn in the shore, they could see that the ship had been driven – hard – into the pebbled beach, its prow nestling amongst some obliging palm trees at the edge of the stony stretch.
 
The all-non-classic-D&D-class party made their way along the sandy upper portion of the beach without much caution, running like schoolchildren on a field trip for the palm trees. Picking a smallish tree that would take them high enough to step onto the fo’c’sle – yar, I be spellin’ that way – Orny, Floki and Nobody clambered up. Uun picked a taller, more suitably majestic tree, but had a slightly harder time getting up. Presumably because of the rain that had lessened since yesterday but kept a lid on the heat all day.
 
They found the deck deserted and, on inspection, missing pretty much everything. There were no spools of rope, pins, buckets or any of the things you’d normally find on a ship’s deck, even if it had been beached. In contrast, the main deck was covered in things that did not belong on a ship; cut and chopped fronds from local plants. The pungently plant-y salad filled the entire main deck about an inch deep. 
It smells terrible and looks like a dreadful prolapse.

It smells terrible and looks like a painful prolapse. But mixed in with a salad – dynamite!

 Floki and Uun tried to get a sense of what was in the deck salad, detecting the powerful aromas of hibiscus, chopped aloe, maile vines they were mixed in with the much less pleasant smelling corpseflower. Nobody jumped down onto the plant bed while Uun lay down on the fo’c’sle and tried to reach the handle of the door to the forward cabin. While he could reach it, the handle wouldn’t turn and the door wouldn’t move. 
 
The Shoanti – he is Shoanti, right? – Barbarian stood on the railing and prepared to jump to the only spot on the deck that wasn’t covered in chopped plants, the main hatch. He fucked it up, and nose dived into the plant mixture. Upon righting himself he examined the hatch; it had been barred shut by a prybar that had been wedged between the handles of the two doors that made up the hatch.
 
Throwing open the hatch, Uun was somehow oblivious to the powerful stench of… something. A guano-like smell, cloying and strong. Not sure why Uun didn’t even notice it. Maybe he mistook it for his own manly aroma. Uun cast Dancing Lights around the lower deck, providing everyone with awesome light.
 
Dancing lights
 
Jumping down into the hatch (for there were no steps leading down) they found themselves in the crew quarters, basically an open area with a bunch of hammocks hanging. There were two doors aft and one forward that they looked at first. Uun found the door locked and prybarbarianed it open. When he had overcome the lock, the door opened suddenly, triggering the simple bellows and dart trap waiting on the other side. The dart sunk into Uun’s beefy pectoral and within seconds the skin around the wound had become pale and the blood vessels beneath his skin a distinct green colour. Uun didn’t have time to feel poisoned and shrugged off the effect. The trap wasn’t hidden at all behind the door, just a jerry-rigged one-time trap made out of scraps.
 
Inside the forward cabin they found what was probably a bosun’s workshop. However, it looked like it had been carefully cleaned out as no functional tools remained. All that was left were a bunch of spare parts and broken tools. The party looted their fill of unattached handles, whetstones, leather strops, a nice sounding rope and busted tools.
 
Orny went to search the hammocks, while Floki and Uun went to one of the doors nearer the stern. Again, they found it locked and the TWO GROWN MEN had a hard time forcing it open. Nobody decided to help out by shooting the lock, working on the Han Solo principle that shooting doors makes them do whatever you want them to do – open a door, shoot it/jam a door shut, shoot it. It’s all fun and games until you get in an elevator with him.
 
This roguish application of an ancient lesson was enough to make the door burst open when Uun and Floki forced themselves against it. The door opened and an axe whipped forward out of the darkness, hitting Uun and whistling past Nobody. Uun claimed the axe as his own. They found themselves in what looked like a navigator’s room. It had a nice large window that had been wound shut with wire. Coastal maps were stuffed into little pigeonholes, but there were no navigational tools. From this room there was a door further back towards the stern and a set of stairs heading down into the cargo deck.
 
It was at this juncture that Orny heard what sounded (a bit) like footsteps on the deck above them. Step-click, step-click, step-click, step-click. He killed the Dancing Lights and everyone else paused to listen. The rhythm from above stopped and was replaced by a short series of clacks drumming against the deck. The pattern was repeated from somewhere on the cargo deck below the party too. Uun started complaining that with Dancing Lights he couldn’t see much, also, he could use some healing. And Guidance. Uun lives to have other people help him with things, after which he is a rugged individualist. Floki crept back across the crew deck to the main hatch and, given his height, had no problem poking his head out of the hatch to see what was going on. What was going on was a Deinonychus, patiently waiting to see what was going to come out of the hatch. Dinner, was the answer. 
 
 
Ha-haaaa!

Ha-haaaa!

The Deino went fucking apeshit on Floki, as they don’t really have a “exploratory phase” of sizing up an opponent; a flurry of super vicious talon attacks and a bite. Orny, having hung back from the others was in a position to see this and quickly laid a Slumber Hex upon the dinosaur, causing it to flop to the main deck, probably with that weird gross eyelid that birds have while they snooze. Eww. 
 
Through the hatch, Floki attempted to deliver a Coup De Grace, which I trust we can all now pronounce. It shows that someone at Paizo really feels strongly about this because it wasn’t renamed something less tricky, like Deathblow, and also it has its own section on pronunciation. Similarly, the Knowledge Nature DC 18 check you can make on these creatures gives the following info: “Deinonychus, also incorrectly known as velociraptors (which are in fact much smaller creatures),”. Who? Who is incorrectly calling them that on Golarion? All the gnomes and half-orcs that have also seen Jurassic Park? 
 
Anyway, back to Floki’s Coup De Grace. He fucked it up. Real hash of it. Deinonychus pops back up, resumes angrily shredding him.
Floki doesn’t panic, Blodvins are too stoic, he just occasionally flails around ineffectively and hurts himself. This time he knocked himself prone in his enthusiasm for combat and it fell to Nobody to get gouged horribly by the Deino’s formidable scything talons. Getting back up, Floki thrust up at his scaly foe and dealt it a terrible blow. The dinosaur backed off and then loped effortlessly away, off the ship and into the jungle.
 

Bye chumps!

 
Meanwhile, Uun rages, waiting for something to charge him. Accordingly he is charged out of the darkness (actually a Pounce) by a second Deino, which almost kills him right away. The talons inflict the most damage, but its the foreclaws that actually put him down with a blistering titty-twister attack. Nobody lets everyone know that there is a fight going on, but without the slab of meatshield in front of him, backs up to reload. Orny, turns and Slumber Hexes that Deino too, just before it drags Uun off to devour him. Instead, it tumbles back down the stairs to the cargo deck. Orny healed Uun, then pursued it down the stairs, eager to murder it in its sleep because he has to keep his Warlock license active. He fucked it up too while Uun was staggered, having not recovered from his rage quite yet. Uun joined Orny down the stairs, which is just as well. The Deino split his attacks between the two men, but Uun laid a massive hurt on him, a rage-enhanced damage to a critical, eviscerating the dinosaur.
 
Both foes gone, one way or another, the party continued their exploration of the ship. Uun searched the cargo deck, but found no cargo, only nests made of driftwood, dung, plants and bones. 
 
Nobody forged abaft, shooting out another lock and opening the door to the navigator’s room. As he did so a snare whipped around his wrist and flung him against the cabin’s ceiling, where a series of wooden spikes had been wedged into the boards. Orny was called upon to pull him down and get him healed.
 
They found the cabin picked clean of all useful items. It really was quite bare. Two features of note, however, a circular hole cut in the hull and one in the bulkhead that led to an adjoining cabin. They all examined this for a moment, then slipped through the hole – tougher for some than others – and into the First Mate’s cabin. Again this had been picked clean of anything useful. Another snare and spike trap had been set to propel whoever opened the door to their death. It was disarmed and the cabin door opened. This led to the ship’s small area set aside for the cook, there was a small stove bolted in to the deck and a few heavy pots, but that was about it. What was interesting in this room was an unfinished circular hole cut into the deck above. The circle was almost cut through, maybe half an inch to go, before whoever was cutting stopped and abandoned the job. Jamming the prybar (how did they live without one?) into the groove, they were able to crack the rest of the boards out, eventually creating a rough circular hole.
 
Climbing up through the hole, they found themselves in the first messy cabin they had found: the Captain’s cabin. Unlike the other cabins, this was full of stuff and most of it looked like it had been violently dislodged. The door was heavily barred from inside. The most noticeable feature however, was the dead man lying on the floor, a handsome darkwood coffer clutched in his bony hand and metal hook. A brief inspection of the body showed that this man had been dead for quite a while, he was dressed a Captain – although in no nation’s colours, he was tall and by his hair style (what brittle stuff remained on his withered scalp) Chelish. The coffer was locked and no keys were found on his person. Uun wrestled the hook off his wrist and tried using the hook to open the coffer, but it was nothing so fancy. Just a regular old, terrifying meat hook for a hand. Nobody, naturally, shot the lock but Floki had the idea of spending six seconds looking for the key on the floor, found it and then opened the coffer.
 
Inside, they found a rather beautiful dagger, which Orny had sensed was magical. Looking at it, he confirmed it was a very nice +2 Dagger. They also found a large locket, well crafted and made of gold. Popping it open, they found an exquisitely detailed portrait of a beautiful half-elf redheaded woman. There was some brief confusion because you have a redheaded woman and a half-elven woman back at camp, but those are two different people. The inscription below the portrait read “Aeshamara”.
 
 
Last, but not least, they found the Captain’s Log, a fat ledger detailing all sorts of transactions between various parties and stuffed with loose notes. If Jask is right, this will contain information that will clear his name. With this objective finally met, they decided to stay the night on the relatively steady wreck.
 
Orny pulled first watch and as soon as everyone else was asleep he started to hear moaning from the other side of the door. “Oh” the voice moaned “Mutineers, traitors all of you, who have led me to this peril.” The moans were almost all of this sort, complaints against some mutineers who had apparently done the speaker wrong. Orny listened for a while, happy to trust to the barred door. Orny was so comfortable with it that when it came time for Nobody to take watch, Orny curled up in a corner and fell fast asleep, leaving Nobody and creepy-ass-unsleeping-goat Bongripper alone with the voice beyond the door.
 
'S fine, you take a nap, I goat this.

‘S fine, you take a nap, I goat this.

 
Nobody could hear the same thing, someone moving around the deck moaning and wailing about how shitty everything was for them. He pressed his ear to the door and heard a faint whisper from the other side. “Where is she, where is my Aeshamara? How I longed to look upon her one last time.” Nobody turned from the door and found a tall, glowing, ghostly figure standing behind him. “Mutineer!” it wailed and struck out at the Tiefling with his spectral hook. 
 
capitano-avret-kinkarian
 
Everyone was roused by Nobody’s alarm, but as they struck at the ghost, they saw their weapons move right through him and while they seemed to strike, there was no sign of their passing on the ghostly form – the ghost of Captain Kinkarian. Uun, not joining the fight, rolled from his sleeping spot and dug around in his belongings, before whipping out the locket and presenting it to Captain Kinkarian. Uun hadn’t quite found his voice at this point, being still dull from sleep. But as the ghost continued to lash out with its hook, he cleared his throat, popped open the locket and called Kinkarian’s attention to the painted cameo within.
 
The ghostly Captain stopped his wailing and hooking and gasped at the sight of his lost love. Reaching out his good hand to the locket, to the very badly injured Uun’s fright, his fingers closed around it and he dissipated, leaving the cabin dim. 
 
Content to have laid Captain Kinkarian to rest, they saw out the rest of the night peacefully.
 
 
LOOT
6 grip handles
2 push-pull handles
1 haft
1 broken awl
1 broken saw
1 broken rasp
3 heavy metal pots
Sounding rope 60ft, technically 10 fathoms.
Miscellaneous trap parts
Golden locket with Hot (half-)Elf Girlfriend inside.
+2 Dagger (Orny took it)
Capt. Kinkarian’s Ledger.
 

13 Comments on “Castaway Diary, Day 9.

  1. Oh, I forgot to ask everyone but Mike…

    Which way you heading next week?

    North, back to base camp.
    South, continuing on in the direction of Ishiro’s “treasure”.
    West, cutting across the island to explore more.
    East, into the sea, to test whether this island is actually some kind of Purgatory.

  2. Either South or West, I think. We’ve got adequate food for days, and it’s not like that log will spoil.

  3. The original plan was to head south to that point where the inlet starts (going from memory here) and then turn north through the jungle looking for Ishiro’s treasure. I think we should stick with this. There is still the halfling’s ship to find so we should cover as much coast as possible before heading back to camp/into the jungle.

  4. That is unless that captain’s log has a scroll of get me the fuck out of here in which case we head right back to camp.

  5. I should say – because he won’t – Mike said south.

    Also, Gelik is a gnome, not a halfling. Racist.

  6. Does someone have Ishiro’s map? I kinda don’t think you do…

    If someone has it on their sheet… that’s fine.

    • Didn’t Floki take that map? Or was that a different one? I know he’s got a map of the island…

      • Floki has a map of the island, but not Ishiro’s treasure map, although he knows where the red x is, roughly…

        The map is one of Ishiro’s prized posessions, so I don’t think he would have given it to anyone. Also, he wanted to be there when you dig it up.

        • If he wants that treasure so bad why doesn’t he pick up that giant sword of his and walk his ass all over this gods forsaken island like the rest of us. I’m a ranger not a donkey.

          • I basically said that to him as we were preparing to leave and I remember his response being “No. I don’t want to go. You find my treasure without a map and bring it back here.” So if we do find it he’s going to have to be pretty good with that sword to get it from us.

  7. The fact that we’re using the exact same bones miniature for Gelick (gnome) as Rolifson (Halfling) only adds to the argument that they all look the same.

  8. Gelik is heavier because he is made of metal. Rolifson is lighter and white because they don’t really make halfling miniatures which is kind of bullshit.

    Less sexy chicks with swords and cleavage, Reaper, more playable races.

  9. Ishiro remembers that offer as “We’re going to wander down the coastline looking for shipwrecks, somewhat aimlessly for a few days, wanna come and help explore?”

    To which he replied something to the effect of “No, I’d better stay here, but if you go for the treasure, let me know and I’ll help out.”

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